Christmas is Tuesday, and images of peace, love, harmony and family togetherness are popping up everywhere. But the reality is, it can also be the most tense and stressful time of the year. Dr. Mort Orman, a stress relief expert, says family members have different ways of celebrating holidays, and if they don’t voice those expectations, problems are sure to surface.
“Because of our expectations, we want things to go a certain way. People start behaving differently: we want to try and get them to do the things the way we want them to do it. So, we try and get them to do that, and sometimes they don’t want to do that, or that’s not their particular way of doing it.”
Dr. Orman says people should be willing to say ‘no,’ even if it means disappointing someone. He says just trying to balance family commitments during the holidays often overburdens family members and causes more unnecessary stress.
Planning is also an important factor to ensure the next few days will be restful, memorable and meaningful. Dr. Orman advises families to plan their budgets, trips, dinners and visiting times. He also suggests focusing on the things that you are able to control, even in situations that can sometimes seem out of control.
“Sometimes you may not be able to control somebody else’s behavior, the traffic jam or the long lines at the check-out, but you do have some control over your own patterns. When you start shopping; how much time you allow to travel around during the holidays; how you respond to other people, and relate to other people.”
The doctor’s best advice may be that no one can “do it all,” so be practical and build in some time to connect with spouse and children during the holidays. He says children take their cues from parents, so, when parents are stressed, children’s emotions can quickly ramp up as well.
Dr. Mort Orman’s website is OrmanStressRelief.com.